(A facetious piece. Inspired my my kids’ love of Mad Libs)
Directions (in case you’ve never played Mad Libs): Play with a friend or colleague. Ask them to say a word for each type of word specified. Read the story using their words to fill in the blanks. Or play on your own, skip down without reading the story and fill in the blanks in the list before you read the story. Then read the story using your words to fill in the blanks.
Why Your Doctor is Running Late
“I apologize, Mrs. (person’s surname), to keep you waiting. The patient before you arrived (number between 10 and 100) minutes late and had an oxygen saturation pulse oximetry level of (number less than 85) percent. After calling for ambulance transfer, I then had to spend (2-digit number) minutes on the phone with the Emergency Medicine physician and the Hospitalist, debating the merits of transfer to ER versus direct admission.
“After that, (person’s first name) from IT came by and insisted I re-boot my computer for a system update. The screen then turned (a color) and made a noise that sounded like (a nonsense sound) and I couldn’t use it for (another 2-digit number) minutes.
“Subsequent to that, the hospital (title of an administrator) dropped in to my office to chat about (type of medical treatment) policies. I tried telling him/her that I had (number between 5 and 20) patients waiting but he/she insisted it would only take (another 2-digit number) minutes.
“I was finally then just about to enter the exam room to see you when I had to take a call from Dr. (another person’s surname) from (name of city) University Hospital, who was calling to update me on the patient I referred there (number between 1 and 20) week(s) ago.
“Then, truly, I was on my way in to see you, my hand was on the doorknob, when I was called to the infusion room for a patient with a systolic blood pressure of (number less than 80). Fortunately I was able to stabilize them by ordering a dose of (medication name).
“So as you can see, after (3-digit number) minutes of unavoidable delays, I am now able to see you and my time is all yours.
“If you will just excuse me one moment while I answer this page from the hospital…”
Person’s surname ______________ Number between 5 and 20__________
Number between 10 and 100_______ Another 2-digit number____________
Number less than 85_____________ Another person’s surname__________
2-digit number________________ Name of city____________________
Person’s first name_____________ Number between 1 and 20___________
A color_____________________ Number less than 80_______________
A nonsense sound_____________ Medication name__________________
Another 2-digit number_________ 3-digit number___________________
Title of an administrator__________ Electronic noise__________________
Type of medical treatment________
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